Alpaca laughs + pit stops.

We were driving south, windows down, as usual. A stop here, a stop there, for us to stretch our legs, but mostly for Jesse to fly his drone. We were in somewhat of a hurry, wanting to make it to the Cascade Lakes area as quickly as we could. We didn’t want to miss a thing. The turquoise lakes. The clear + chilly waters. The nooks and crannies of earth we had yet to explore.

Typically, on these drives, I get a little carried away. Wanting to stop every 2,000 feet. Wanting to soak up the beauty around every turn. But you never get anywhere if you stop everywhere along the way. So, we make a deal. And I make proclamations like, “Okay, last stop before Bend. Promise!” For future reference, my promises on road trips are a load of crap. Don’t buy into what I’m selling.

I had already given my word when up in the distance, what do I see? The cutest, fuzziest animals that no one in their right mind could just zoom by! I look at Jesse and he looks at me with eyes that say, “Of course we’ll stop. Duh. These things are adorable.”

The mountain sun is warm on my skin. And I feel like I’m 5 and Christmas is coming. We hop out of the car and run to the fence and start talking in high, squeaky voices to these fuzzy cuties. We buy some grain to feed them, so we can get even closer. If you hold up the Ziplock of nuggets, shake it wildly and belt out across the field, “COME ON GIRLS, I’VE GOT FOOD!” they close in on you. The little babies want in on the crunchy goodness, but either they can’t see that great yet or they’re just being boxed out by the adults, I can’t quite tell which is the case.

Jesse and I are laughing, trying to figure out which ones are our favorites. Mid-giggle I squeal, “Aren’t you glad we stopped?!?”

And isn’t that the truth.

Aren’t I glad we stopped.

Aren’t I glad I stopped trying to get to where I want to end up?

“You never get anywhere if you stop everywhere along the way.” I take that back. You get alpaca laughs and sun on your skin. You get life.

And you know what, life unfolds how it’s going to whether or not you make a gazillion stops along the way. How insightful for the hurried doer in me. How comforting for someone who can barely handle sitting and waiting in the in-between, for someone who’s wanting something so badly but has no control over how quickly it will happen.

When we walked into the shop on the alpaca farm and bought those little baggies of grain, we also bought some art for our future babe. It was on a table right in front of us, as we walked in the door. Jesse and I saw it at the same time. It was immediate. It was perfect. (And it’s not like we’ve had this lifelong love of alpacas! It’s not like that at all.) It’s the spirit that drew us in. It’s the hope we have for our child. It’s the dreams we have for her to have an adventurous spirit, to be kind, to not be afraid and to be happy.

It’s moments like these that hold me over. It’s moments like these when I feel the Holy Spirit, shushing my rapid mind and showing me the heart of my Father. “Haven’t I given you incredible adventures? Haven’t I given you peace and knowing that this is your path? Haven’t you told me, ‘Yes, okay, I’m onboard?’” You have. I have. And although, logistically with paperwork and appointments, I’m pushing as fast as I can, the waiting in-between can either be rough and rushed and as painful as I let it be, or I can stop, pull over to the side of the road and see what wonderful surprises He has for me.

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  1. Tanya

    They are so cute!

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Hi, I’m Becky!

I’m an Enneagram 1 and INFJ, if you’re into those things as much as I am. Oh, and I’m a writer and podcaster I write a lot about motherhood, infertility, adoption, the beautiful gifts God has shown me time and time again and the freedom we have in Jesus to come undone.

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